Fresh Start burned for another hour before the fire was extinguished. The blaze did not spread to the nearby buildings, but was contained. The shelter was a total loss. All of the women and children housed in the building were safely evacuated, in large part because of Stef’s quick action in getting to them before the blaze spread to the sleeping rooms.

Only the night manager did not escape. His ruined body was found in the basement, lying near the charred filing cabinets and records bins. It took only a short time to make a tentative identification. It was a man, not a woman, and Ray Hapgood had been on duty and was unaccounted for.

It was three in the morning when Ross and Stef reentered their apartment and closed the door softly behind them. They stood holding each other in the darkness for a long time, breathing into each other’s shoulders in the silence, saying nothing. Ross could not stop thinking about Ray.

“How could this have happened?” he whispered finally, his voice still tight with shock.

Stef shook her head and said nothing.

“What was Ray doing there?” he pressed, lifting his head away from her shoulder to look at her. “It wasn’t his duty. He was supposed to go out to his sister’s in Kent. He told me so.”

Her fingers tightened on his arms. “Let it go, John.”

A stubborn determination infused him. “I don’t want to let it go. Who had the duty tonight? Who?”

She lifted her head slightly and he could see the angry welts and bruises on her face. “Simon makes up the list, John. Ask him.”

“I’m asking you. Who had the duty?”

She blinked back the tears that suddenly filled her eyes. “You did. But when you went home sick, Ray offered to fill in.”

He stared at her in disbelief. He had the duty? He couldn’t remember it. Why hadn’t he known? Even before he was sick, why hadn’t he known? It should have been posted. It must have been. He was certain he had looked at the list. So why didn’t he remember seeing his name?

He felt worn and defeated. He stood in the dark holding Stef and looking into her eyes, and for the first time in a long time he was uncertain about everything. “Did you see my name?”

“John …”

“Did you, Stef?”

She nodded. “Yes.” She touched his face. “This isn’t your fault, John. Just because you weren’t there and Ray was doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

He nodded because that was what she expected him to do, but he was thinking that it felt like it was his fault, just as it had felt like it was his fault at San Sobel. Any failure of responsibility or neglect of duty belonged to him, and nothing could change that. He closed his eyes against what he was feeling. Ray Hapgood had been his friend, his good friend, and he had let him die.