“I’ve got to go, I’ve got diarrhoea,” I said.

“Diarrhoea?”

“Yes. A bad case of the runs. Never happened to you?”

My words took a little time to filter through to his brain, partly because of the hearing aid and partly because of the surprise. And then it looked as though a head of steam was building up behind his eyes, obscuring his vision.

“You asked for details, so I gave you details!” I said.

Perhaps he was waiting for instructions from the ancient kings of France to come through his earpiece. So in the end I just left.

I headed towards Marie in the playground. There were faces pressed up against all the windows, watching us. It was complete pandemonium in the classrooms and the teachers were in a state about the lack of respect for their authority. As I walked into the arena, I could almost hear the public baying for our death. Sometimes it’s useful to have historical references at your fingertips.

I followed the lanes laid out by the road safety guys and caught up with Marie at the end of a cul-de-sac. She must have heard me, because she said, “Is that you, Victor?”

“Yes, it’s me, it’s Ariadne’s thread. Your very own path finder.”

She looked relieved. Maybe it wasn’t all over between us.

“Are you still mad at me?” I asked, though it was a strange moment to choose.

She blushed scarlet, but I couldn’t tell if it was out of anger or love. Or both.

“Yes, I’m mad at you. But at the same time I know I’ll never love anyone like you. Though if I could see clearly, I’d give you a good slap and that would make me feel a whole lot better.”

“Hang on, I’ll get a bit closer.”

I didn’t want her to miss me like last time. I stood right in front of her.

“Go ahead.”

Of course, as soon as her slap struck home, everyone at the windows burst into applause, whistling and cheering, with the furious teachers in the background trying to calm things down. The policeman, who was still stationed towards the back of the playground, must have wondered what on earth he’d got into. I was seeing stars in every colour of the rainbow and my ears were buzzing as if they were full of hornets. She hadn’t held back. I’d never known that being hurt so bad could feel so good.

Peace had returned after the great storm.

“OK, now follow me. Can you hear my footsteps?”

“I’m following you.”

“Are you holding the thread tight?”

“Yes. And I’m not going to let it go again.”

And that’s how we crossed the playground, watched by all the kids who were now leaning out of the windows, a weird mixture of disappointment, mockery and admiration on their faces. I don’t know what more entertainment they were expecting. The bell rang for break. We were definitely going to be in hot water with the school authorities. I thought of Lucky Luke.