When Alain pulled up into a visitor’s parking space to one side of the hospice, Belinda didn’t want to get out of the car. Her legs seemed to be frozen into position and wouldn’t move.

‘Alain, I don’t think I can do this,’ she said.

‘Yes you can,’ Alain said gently. ‘Take deep breaths and think positive thoughts. You want me to go first and see if Enzo is well enough for visitors? I tell them who you are? I make sure that you don’t bump into Helena.’

‘Please.’

Alain got out of the car and walked round to Belinda’s side. ‘Come on, out you get. There’s a bench by the main entrance, you can sit there and wait. The fresh air will be good for you.’

Belinda sat on the bench waiting for Alain to return, trying not to shake with nerves. She’d had over twenty-four hours to psych herself up for this visit and suddenly it wasn’t enough. She needed more time – except there would never be enough time. She stared at the modern L-shaped single-storey building. Her father was in there dying. Wouldn’t it be better to keep her memories of him intact? Not destroy them by seeing him as an ill old man. What if he didn’t recognise her? What if he told her to go away? Round and round the questions went until she felt dizzy.

‘The nurse is with him at the moment, once she’s finished, you can see him.’ Alain’s quiet voice broke her out of her reverie. ‘And Helena is not expected until after lunch today.’ He held his hand out. ‘Come on. I’ll take you in.’

Taking a deep breath Belinda stood and reached out for Alain’s hand. This was it, now or never. She could choose to walk into the hospice and see her father for the first time in thirty-five years or she could walk away.

A nurse smiled her welcome at Belinda. ‘Mrs Marshall? I’ll take you through to see your father.’

‘Does he know I’m here?’ Belinda asked nervously. ‘We haven’t been in touch for a very long time. I don’t want to upset him. If you think it’s a bad idea, I can leave.’

‘Yes, he knows you’re here. I’ll come in with you and if I think it’s too much, I’ll ask you to leave, okay? Here we are,’ and she pushed the door open onto a light airy room.

Belinda studied the face of the man who lay in the bed by the window for several seconds, unable to move forward.

The nurse was at his side, speaking gently, ‘Enzo, your daughter is here to see you.’

Enzo turned his head to look at Belinda standing at the foot of his bed. ‘Blindy.’