Jenks shifted his grip. He pulled the sword back. Ivy looked at me, too lost in guilt to do anything.

“No,” I whispered, panicking. My grasping fingers reached the edge of the van and, feet scrabbling weakly, I pushed myself forward. Jax was in my way, shrilling something and his dragonfly wings sparkling in my darkening vision.

“Jenks, stop!” I cried out, falling out of the van. Ice hard and cold, the pavement hit my shoulder and hip, scraping my cheek. I took a breath that was more like a cry, focusing on the gray pavement as if it was my coming death. Oh God. Ivy was going to let Jenks kill her.

“Rachel!” There was the clatter of the sword falling, and suddenly Jenks was there, his arms picking me up and cushioning me against the hard ground. Struggling, I focused on him, shocked he was so close. He didn’t like anyone touching him.

“It wasn’t her fault,” I breathed, focusing on his eyes. They were so green, I forgot what I wanted to say. My breath sounded harsh and my throat hurt. “It wasn’t her fault.”

“Shhhh,” he whispered, his brow creasing when I moaned as he hoisted me into his arms and lurched to his feet. “It’s going to be all right. You’re going to be all right. She’s going to leave. You don’t have to worry about her again. I won’t let any vampire hurt you. I can do this. I’ll stay big, and make sure no one hurts you again. It’ll be okay. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

The vampire saliva was wearing off fast. As he carried me, I could feel a heavy pain starting to take hold and unconsciousness gather. I was cold, and shivers shook me.

Jenks’s motion stopped, and he cradled me close as he stood over Ivy. His arms filled with a hard tension. “Leave,” Jenks said. “Get your things and go. I want you out of the church by the time we get back. If you stay, you’re going to kill her, just like everyone else stupid enough to love you.”

A sound broke from her, and he walked away, pace fast as he headed for the warm darkness of the motel room.

I couldn’t find the air to speak. Ivy’s heavy sobs came one after the other. I didn’t want her to leave. Oh, God. I had only wanted to show I trusted her. I only wanted to understand her—and myself.

Jenks’s shadow fell over me, and I trembled. Tears spilled from me as I saw everything crash down to ruin. I could hear her crying, alone and lost. She was going to leave. She was going to leave because of what I had asked her to do. And as I listened to Ivy crying, alone and guilt-strewn on the pavement, something broke inside. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. It was going to kill me.

“I asked her to bite me,” I whispered. “Jenks, don’t leave her there. She needs me. I asked her.” A sob rose in me, hurting as it broke free. “I only wanted to know. I didn’t think she’d lose control like that.”