Ivy saw my decision, her face stilling when her instincts hit her hard. “This isn’t right,” she said. “Don’t make me be the one to say no. I can’t do it.”

“So don’t.” A thread of fear slid through me, turning into a sliver of delicious tension to settle deep in my groin and tingle my skin. God, what was I doing?

I felt her will battle her desires, and I watched her eyes, finding no fear in their absolute blackness. I was covered in her scent. Mine was laced about the van like silk scarves, mixing with hers, teasing, luring, promising. Piscary was too far away to interfere. The chance might never come again. “You’re confused,” she said, holding herself carefully, unmoving and still.

My lips tingled when I licked them. “I am confused. I’m not afraid.”

“I am,” she breathed, and her dark lashes drooped to rest atop her pale cheeks. “I know how this ends. I’ve seen it too many times. Rachel, you’ve been hurt and aren’t thinking clearly. When it’s done, you’ll say it was a mistake.” Her eyes opened. “I like how everything is. I’ve spent the better part of a year convincing myself that I’d rather have you as a friend who won’t let me touch her than someone I touched only to frighten away. Please, tell me to leave.”

Adrenaline coursed to settle deep. I stood, out of breath. My thoughts lit upon the dating guide she had given me and the sensations, both exquisitely alluring and darkly terrifying, that she had pulled from me before I learned what not to do. The idea flitted through me that I was manipulating her even now, knowing that she couldn’t best her drives when someone was willing. I could manipulate Ivy to any end, and it sent a surge of anticipatory terror through me.

Standing before her, I shook my head.

“Tell me why….” she whispered, her face creased in a deep pain, as if feeling herself starting to slip into a place she had been both fearing and wanting to go.

“Because you’re my friend,” I said, voice trembling. “Because you need this,” I added.

Relief showed in the depths of her eyes, black in the dim light. “Not enough. I want to show you so badly that it aches,” she said, her voice a gray ribbon. “But I won’t do this if you can’t admit it’s for you as much as me. If you can’t, then it’s not worth having.”

I stared in a near panic for what she was asking me to come to grips with. I didn’t even know what to call the emotions that were making my eyes warm with unshed tears and my body long for something I didn’t understand.

Seeing my frightened silence, she turned away. Her long fingers gripped the handle to open the door, and I stiffened, seeing everything dissolve to become an embarrassing incident that would forever widen the chasm between us. Panicked, I said, “Because I want to trust you. Because I do trust you. Because I want this.”