I let out my held breath, then caught it again. My head hurt. I did nothing as he shifted to sit beside me, moving the book out of the way. Our body weight slid us closer, and I shifted to face him, my knees forcing us apart.

“I missed you,” he said softly, his eyes scrunched with old pain, and this time I did nothing as his arms went around me. The scent of cinnamon and flour filled my senses, instead of musty books and the snap of ozone. His hands were light, almost not there. I felt his body relax, and he exhaled as if he’d found a piece of himself. Don’t, I thought, tensing. Please don’t say it.

“Things would have been different if I had known you were alive,” he whispered, his breath shifting the hair about my face. “I never would have left. I never would have asked Jax to help me. I never would have started this fool snatch. God, Rachel, I missed you. You’re the only woman I’ve met who understands me, who I never needed to explain why. Hell, you didn’t even leave when you found out I called up demons. I…I really missed you.”

His hands clenched for an instant and his voice cracked. He had missed me. He wasn’t lying. And I knew what it was like to be alone and the rarity of finding a kindred soul, even if he was screwed up. “Nick,” I said, my heart pounding.

My eyes closed as his hands moved, pulling through my hair. I reached up, stilling them, bringing them back down to my lap. The memory of him tracing the lines of my face filled me. I remembered the touch of his sensitive fingers, following my jawline, running down my neck to follow the curves of my body. I remembered his warmth, his laughter, and his eyes sparkling when I twisted a phrase to mean something entirely new and naughty. I remembered the way he made me feel needed, appreciated for who and what I was, never having to apologize for it, and the contentment I found in sharing ourselves. We’d been happy together. It had been great.

And I made a good decision.

“Nick.” I pulled away, my eyes opening when his hand brushed my cheek. “You left. I got myself together. I won’t go back to where we were.”

His eyes went wide in the low light. “I never left you. Not really. Not in my heart.”

I took a breath and let it go. “You weren’t there when I needed you,” I said. “You were somewhere else. Stealing something.” His expression went empty, and a flash of anger pressed my lips together, daring him to deny it. “You lied to me about where you were going and what you were doing. And you took Jenks’s son with you. You turned him into a thief with your promises of wealth and excitement. How could you do that to Jenks?”

Nick’s eyes were emotionless. “I told him it was a dangerous job and it didn’t pay well.”