Nick stiffened, and Jenks chuckled, “Little professor…” as he dumped a fourth packet of sugar into his coffee. I felt like I was in my high school lunchroom, plotting a prank.

“Yeah, I can do that,” I said. Sullen, I pushed the melting ice cream around on my plate. Doppelganger charms were illegal, but not black. Why not? I was going to freaking kill someone.

“Good.” Ivy speared the last of her pie, going still in thought before she ate the point, and I knew she was making a wish. And people thought I was superstitious? “Now all we have to do is find a way to destroy that thing,” she finished.

At that, Nick stirred. “You’re not going to destroy it. It’s over five thousand years old.”

I sent my flip-flops popping. “I agree,” I said, and Nick shot me a grateful glance. “If we can substitute a fake Nick, then we can substitute a fake statue.”

Ivy leaned back in her chair with her coffee. “I don’t care,” she said. “But you…” She pointed a finger at Nick. “…aren’t going to get it. Rachel is going to put it into hiding, and you—get—nothing.”

Nick looked sullen, and I exchanged that same knowing look with Jenks. This was going to be a problem. Jenks stirred his coffee. “So…” he said, “how are we going to knack Nick?”

I thought his verbiage left something to be desired, but I let it pass, ignoring my melting bribe. “I don’t know. I’m usually on the saving-your-butt end of things.”

Blowing across his mug, Jenks shrugged. “I’m partial to crushing their chest until their ribs crack and their blood splatters like Jell-O in a blender without a top.” He took a sip, wincing. “That’s what I do to fairies.”

I frowned, appalled when he added two more packets of sugar.

“We could push him off a roof,” Ivy suggested. “Drown him, maybe? We’ve got lots of water around here.”

Jenks leaned conspiratorially toward Ivy, his green eyes darting merrily between mine and hers. “I’d suggest jamming a stick of dynamite up his ass and running away, but that might really hurt whoever is taking his place.”

Ivy laughed, and I frowned at both of them. The karaoke machine had started up again, and I felt ill when “Love Shack” began bouncing out. Oh my God. The skinny trucker was up on the stage with the three bimbos as backup.

I looked, then looked again. Finally I tore my eyes away. “Hey,” I said, feeling the weight of the last twenty-four hours fall on me. “I’ve been up since yesterday noon. Can we just find somewhere to crash for the day?”

Immediately Ivy grabbed her purse from under her chair. “Yeah, let’s go. I have to call Peter. It will take him, his scion, and his mentor a day to get up here. You sleep, Jenks and I will come up with a few plans, and you can pick the one that your magic will work the best with.” She glanced at Jenks, and he nodded. Both of them turned to me. “Sound okay?”