“My very own battles…all mine, and either I beat them or they beat me. And ain’t no piece of cardboard making no difference in how it turns out.” Then he got up and walked out of the room. Bethrah said she got up too and apologized to everyone, and felt like crying, but didn’t because she was so mad she wouldn’t let Tucker have the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

She wanted a cigarette now, and this time succeeded. “I think he must be crazy. Education is the most important thing there is, Dymphna. Especially for Negroes. And if he thinks he’s keeping my child as ignorant as he is, then he’s in for a fight. My friends must’ve thought he was a terrible Uncle Tom. And what they must’ve thought of me for marrying him?” Then she was sad. “Why doesn’t he explain anything to me? That’s all I want. Is that too much?”

“No, Bethrah,” I said. I don’t think I should have said that because it was all she needed: someone to agree with her.

She looked at me seriously. “I’ve had it, honey.”

I don’t know if she cried after that. I don’t think she did. It wasn’t fifteen minutes before she’d packed some things for herself and the baby and was walking down the hill to catch the bus to her mother’s house in New Marsails. She wouldn’t have had time to cry.

—

SHE WAS BACK IN A WEEK. We all missed her a lot, even Tucker. He didn’t say so, especially not to me, but I could tell. He didn’t seem as crisp as before; he trudged around like a zombie, in a daze, and I said to myself: It serves him right; I hope she never comes back.

But I only said that for her sake and to see him punished. For me, it was bad having her gone.

Then I walked into the kitchen and there she was, cooking. I couldn’t understand why she’d come back, and must’ve looked confused because she looked at me real level and grave for a long while. “I know, Dee. He was right. And when I found out I was wrong and why, I called him and told him to come get me and he did.”

I was still looking at her like I didn’t understand, which I didn’t. But all she said was: “It’s so new and good I want to be selfish about it for a while. I’ll tell you one of these days. It’s better anyway if you figure it out yourself. Try.” And she smiled. But her smile was a little different, like she knew a wonderful secret and she was more than just happy, but contented too.