I know he lying. But it’s okay. It really is okay. Ain’t no use fighting it no more. As much as I wanna stay and move into my new condo and go on my cruise with Loretta, this feel so much easier to do. It don’t take no energy. It don’t take no strength. Why’m I feeling so much better all of a sudden? It feel like I don’t even need to breathe. Lord, this is nice. This is so nice.

“She’s unconscious. Her heart rate’s dropping and she’s turning blue.”

I ain’t unconscious. And I ain’t turning blue either. What island is that over there, Loretta? Is that Jamaica or St. Thomas? Where the hell we at today, girl? Yeah, I’ll play a little bridge, but only after we do some putting. Wait a minute. We home already? Cecil? You in there, baby? I know. I know. I do, I still do. You should know that. But I want you to be happy, especially after all this time. Right now, I’m happy. I don’t think I ever been this happy before. I feel good. Just like I did right before I went into labor with Paris. My head is crystal-clear. I feel like I could fly and float and turn a few flips if I wanted to. Right this minute. I could. I know I could. I feel warm and cool at the same time. Soft. Moist and lush. Like Chicago on a hot afternoon right after a good thunderstorm. Whew. What kind’a medicine they done gave me? Lord, give me some more. Give me as much as you want me to have, ’cause right now, right this very second, it feel like I got everything I need. I don’t know why it took me so long to get here. Why I been resisting all these years. When I coulda had this smoothness. This calm. This ease. I can’t hardly describe it. I never woulda believed it would feel like this. And it’s okay. I like this. I ain’t worried about nothing right now. Except my kids. Lord, what they gon’ do? Please don’t let ’em take this too hard. Please don’t let ’em fall apart. Please let ’em remember everything I taught ’em. Let ’em find their places—the place that was carved just for them since they was born. Don’t let ’em hurt too much. And especially each other. Let ’em know that the one thing they’ll always have is each other. And please let ’em find out what happiness feel like. Let ’em have every drop of my courage, my guts, my strength, ’cause I ain’t gon’ need none of it no more. Give what I had left to all four of ’em. Help ’em to remember how to backstroke and breaststroke instead of just treading water. And please, whatever y’all do, don’t drown and don’t let nothing or nobody make you sink to the bottom. Y’all supposed to rise to the top, ’cause that’s how I raised you. That’s how I raised all four of you. To be good. And then, be even better than that. To yourself. To each other. And to everybody that mean something to you. Don’t forget that I loved y’all with every breath in my body, and if I had it to do all over again—all over again—know that each one of y’all could have this last breath, too.