When the storm thundered in and drowned us in a sea of white, Zane ducked into a cave. After digging a handful of caramels from the Patrol bag, he said, “Now, tell me why you wanted to go to the bloody circus.”

Icy air swept in. When I shuddered, Zane dragged over dry branches from around the cave and tossed them into a pile.

“Come on, Helen, out with it. I’ll be up all night if you don’t tell me, and trust me, I’ll pitch snowballs at you from across this cave until first light if that’s the case.”

“What do you want me to say?” I asked. “I missed you. There, happy?” He slowed his movements, flicking twigs into the fire and blowing on the flame to spread it. A moment later, he dropped down to sit across from me.

“I missed you too,” he said.

“I missed you…way worse.” It sounded like a lame joke, but I wasn’t smiling. “Didn’t you struggle with being separated this year? You sure seemed like you wanted to be spared from it when you asked me to stay in Winter with you.”

A drizzle of snow brushed across the cave floor. Zane studied my hair, eyes, mouth…When he dropped his gaze to the twig between his fingers, disappointment sank through me.

“Helen,” he whispered, tearing brittle pine needles from the twig, “you can’t blame me for wanting you to stay here. I’ll always want you to stay. That will never change.”

I unclasped my hands and leaned back on my palms, biting my lips together.

“What?” he asked, brows tugging in. “Ragnashuck, I’ve muddled your mood again, haven’t I?” He picked up his Patrol staff. “What did I do now?” He tossed a handful of snow at the cave wall and lifted his staff. The snow spiralled like a flock of butterflies that evaporated and sprinkled me with snow.

“I don’t care that you want me to stay. I care that I have to choose a side to stay on at all,” I said.

His face changed. “What do you mean?”

“That man at the circus was a Guard of Doors. I wanted him to make me a door.”

I watched paleness bleach his cheeks. “You bloody what?” Zane scrambled to his knees. “You can’t, Helen. If Elowin has closed a door, you’re not supposed to try and force it open!”

“How do you know Elowin doesn’t want me to have a door?”

“If he wanted you to have one, he would have opened one.”

“He did open one!” I sprang to my feet, kicking snow. “And Kaley went through it. So now, I need to stop Nightflesh before something happens to her. That’s why I need a door; so I’m not stuck on the other side every time I need to be here!”