I walked until the trail neared the road and I cut through a property in order to come out on High Point. I would have to go the rest of the way by road. I ran down the short hill to Forge Mountain, turned left, and sprinted toward Paul Lemen. There were headlights in the distance, coming up the hill, and I turned into the woods behind the houses and waited for the car to pass. Pushing through thick understory, I moved toward a light in a window. A woman was standing in its frame, like she was a painting, drinking a glass of water. I waited. When she turned and walked away, I ran across her backyard to the side of the house. The blue glow of a television flickered through the curtains. I crouched low, my head beneath her window, and pressed along the side wall. The air-conditioning unit was running, one of those that stands apart from the house and spins and makes your voice go funny if you talk into it.

I squatted there against the wall, beside the humming unit, and took the Marksman and one dart out of my back pockets. I released the slide latch, pointed the barrel up, and pulled the slide out until I heard a click. Then I pressed it all the way in, feeling for the second click. The gun was cocked. I pushed on the safety and then the loading button at the front, tipping up the barrel. There are two slots on a Marksman. I felt them with my finger, holding the bottom one where the darts go. I searched for the dart in the fold of my T-shirt and forced it forward into the barrel. My hands were shaking, clammy and unsteady. I put the gun in my lap and wiped my palms on Marie’s shirt, then unlocked the safety. It was ready to fire. Gripping the gun, I tried not to hit the trigger. I didn’t even know for sure if the dart would hurt someone. In the woods, darts fired from a long distance bounced off trees, but from five yards they pierced through bark and into the heartwood all the way down to the dart’s shaft. (I’d told Marie that of all the things we could shoot, I didn’t want it to be trees.) If I had to shoot tonight, I would need to be up close.