Like that, it was as if she had forgotten what I had just said and all that had just passed between us, oblivious to its significance for her. Tony looked like he had dressed for the date. He was wearing a short-sleeved dress shirt tucked into jeans, and he’d parted his hair on the side and combed it back. He looked like Richie from Happy Days, and it made me smile despite the empty feeling in my stomach.

“Sage Adams, may I have the honor of watching the sky spectacle together with you?” He bent forward as if to bow.

Sage looked at me, wondering if leaving me like this would hurt my feelings, blind to how I had just tried to hurt her to the core.

“It’s okay. I’m going to watch with Abbey.”

Tony and Sage set up in the field where all the families were. Abbey and I went over to the merry-go-round. We lay on our backs waiting, slowly circling. I let my hair trail on the ground and looked at the sky. So much had happened. I couldn’t get any thoughts straight in my head. I asked Abbey if she knew where the North Star was. I’d read that you would know where you were if you could find it, like sailors. She didn’t. She didn’t feel like talking. There were millions to choose from. A rocket shot across from the far hill, and white stars exploded above us. Then the whole sky started to crackle. Flames launched across the night, plunged and extinguished above us.

Afterward, when it was all over, I stayed lying on the merry-go-round, looking up, still spinning. I could hear people milling around, folding up lawn chairs, gathering children and bikes. Families leaving together. I suddenly felt cold. Tears burned my eyes. Nothing beautiful lasted.

Abbey said she was heading home, and I said goodbye to her, still lying on the merry-go-round. I wanted to go home.

Ellen. I had forgotten Ellen. I sat up and looked around. I hadn’t seen her in hours. I stood up and started running, first toward the field and then back to the playground. I couldn’t see her. Her bike had been left on its side by the seesaws, but she was nowhere to be seen. I had told her to stay in the Sun Bowl. Crowds of people were moving through the dark and funneling out through the gate. There were packs of teenagers on the road and along the fence, and I pushed past them, looking for her. The gate was too crowded, so I crawled through the fence onto the road to see whether Ellen or Thomas were there. How had I let myself forget?