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  67. 3:46 a.m.

But that’s not the big news. Crazy news. AWFUL news.

When we were leaving The Gap, Megan pushes me and says, “Isn’t that your mom?”

It was.

With some guy.

In the food court. At a mall. In BALTIMORE.

We snuck around to get a closer look.

They were eating at the Great Steak Escape.

Not only was she having an affair, now I would never be able to eat GSE again!

Here is the weird part. The guy looked just like Bob. I thought it was Bob for the first five seconds. But Bob doesn’t wear suits. And Bob has a gut.

This guy was skinnier, but his face, his dark hair, were just like Bob’s. And Bob look-alike had his hand on my mom’s leg.

GET YOUR HAND OFF MY MOM, CREEP. GOON.

I wanted to punch him. To punch her.

How could she?

Sure Bob wasn’t the smartest guy in the world. But he was the nicest. He had been so good to her, so good to me and Markus for the past eight years. How could she?

Then she leaned forward and kissed him.

I wanted to scream.

God, I hate her.

Oh, wait, I think she’s here.

Fucking Bitch.

…

You will not believe what Crazy Bitch, aka my mom, did.

I told her that I needed her to drive me to the pharmacy, that I was having girl problems.

She let me drive.

She was really nice.

She probably felt guilty for not being home that much lately and for CHEATING on Bob.

When we got there, I drove to the very back of the lot and parked.

She asked what I was doing.

I started crying.

I tried not to, but I was so mad.

She asked me what was wrong. She asked me if I was pregnant.

Yeah right, mom. I’ve never kissed a guy but I’m fucking pregnant.

I told her that I saw her at the mall with Bob-look-alike. Eating Great Steak Escape and kissing him.

And guess what Crazy Bitch does? She didn’t cry, she didn’t apologize, she didn’t say she was going to end it with Brad or Chuck or whatever the guy’s name is from her office. No, she says that if I keep quiet, don’t tell Bob, that she will buy me a car for my sixteenth birthday.

A brand new one.

Any car I want.

I tell her I want a Range Rover.

A green one.

She says okay.

Then I tell her to FUCK OFF.

I get out of the car and walk home. Bob is watching TV when I walk through the door.

“Your wife is having an affair, Bob.”

I tell him everything.

The guy, the kiss, my mom offering to buy me a car to keep me quiet.

He starts crying.

Then he leaves.

…