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  67. 3:46 a.m.

“. . . I noticed the boxes a couple months back and I should have told you. I thought it was just clothes and I didn’t think it would be any help to you and would only conjure up old memories that would cause you pain.”

“I know why you did it and I shouldn’t have flipped out on you. I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” he says and I can see a thousand pounds slide off his shoulders. “So, did you find anything — in the boxes, I mean?”

I tell him about the newspaper. About the article.

“MK-Ultra,” he repeats. “I remember when that was big news in the early 80s.”

I tell him my theory about how I thought his estranged wife fit into the fold, how I thought she was recruited by this Ewen fellow to head up an off-shoot black ops project, the Sleep Control Program.

I didn’t want to get into it any further. Every time I mentioned to my father what she did to me, he would excuse himself from the room. It was too painful for him. And it hurt me to see him in pain.

I decide to change the subject. “So, tell me more about this case.”

His eyebrows jump.

I look down at my cell phone.

3:08 a.m.

I’m feeling generous and tell him, “Ten minutes.”

::::

So, Mr. Langon, or should I say, Mr. Lan-GOON, made another pass at me today.

What a creep. Aren’t you married with like six kids? Don’t touch my shoulder when I turn in my paper. I don’t want your super hairy hand touching my favorite blue sweater.

Ugh.

Megan said he did the same thing to her last year. She almost reported it, but decided not to. I’m wondering if I should report GOON.

Yeah, uh, Principal Derry, I think you need to hire a new Humanities teacher. Yeah, one that doesn’t stare at your tits — not that I have tits (come on, girls, get growing) — the entire class. Poor Bethany, Big Titty Bethany in the front row. I swear thirty minutes each hour, GOON is staring right at her huge tits.

Anyhow, Megan got her license last week, so we went off-campus for lunch. Subway. So much better than eating in the cafeteria. John McCannis and Luke Segurs were in the booth next to us. Megan said that she made out with Luke in eighth grade. He had braces and she had braces and she said it was gross. But he got his off — she gets hers off in a couple months — and she said she wants to give it another shot.

Makes me wonder when I will get to kiss a guy.

Fifteen and still haven’t kissed a guy. Or do I count Bennie from summer camp? No, he just licked my face. Plus, I don’t want him to be my first kiss. Yuckaroo.

No, I want my first kiss to be Jason.